Curiosity
by KokoroHana
Summary: The reason why Mika and Yuu were absent during the meeting of the squad.
1. Just the simple things people go through

It was already late in the afternoon when Mika entered the shed where Yuu was chained up for almost three hours.

Even after three months after the incident at the airport of Nagoya, he still switched between human and demon on a daily basis. And it even seemed to get worse from day to day. What once were minutes slowly turned into hours. It wouldn't be that bad of a situation if Yuu just would switch appearance. But also his personality changed if he was in his demon form. Before he could hurt anyone they chained him up on a wall, even though the chains wouldn't be able to hold him there for eternity…and it also was a certainty that they had to find a cure for that as soon as possible otherwise he would turn into a complete demon, not being able to return back.

Since Yuu's situation got worse from day to day, they decided that it would be better to discuss what to do next, so they planned to hold a meeting to think about a solution for that problem but since Yuu was still a demon they had to wait for him to turn back again.

There was no guarantee that the demon couldn't break free from that chain, so Mika looked after him every day. He was a vampire after all, maybe not stronger than a demon but certainly stronger than a human. If anything happened he would at least be able to stop him for some time.

Of course he didn't liked the idea of chaining him up but he also didn't want him to do something in his demon form he would regret later, so he agreed to that.

When Mika entered the shed Yuu was still a demon. It wasn't easy to deal with him in that form. It always tried to convince him to let him free, trying to seduce him with words like "Let's run away, we're family after all." Words he always wanted to hear from Yuu but he wasn't so easy to fool to believe the words of a demon, so he just waited for him to turn back.

He looked at his watch to check for how long it lasted this time. When it was exactly three hours since turning, his horns disappeared and the look in his eyes was also normal again.

Mika released the chains from his wrists.

"Today it was three hours…"

Mika said, freeing him from the chains.

"It lasts longer from day to day. This is bad…"

"…"

"Are you feeling well?"

"…Huh? Oh. Um. Yeah, I'm fine…"

Yuu said a little bit absent minded still sitting on the ground even though he wasn't chained up anymore.

"…"

 _He's acting strange…Really strange…_

"…Are you sure or…does turning into a demon affects you in any way?"

He asked with a worried voice.

"…No, I'm…I'm fine. Really…"

"…"

 _Do you seriously think I would believe that?_

"Yuu-Chan, if something's wrong you-"

"Mika."

Yuu said, looking at him.

"I'm really fine. Don't worry."

"…"

 _If you say it like that…then I'll worry even more..._

"Anyway."

He began, changing the subject, since he assumed he wouldn't tell him what's on his mind.

"The others wanted to meet today to discuss what to do next since your situation doesn't seem to get any better."

"…"

"We shouldn't let them wait."

"…"

"…Yuu-Chan?"

"…"

"Is really everything alright?"

"…"

Since he didn't even answer him anymore Mika decided that the others could wait a little while longer since he wanted to know what's wrong with him all of a sudden. None of the others would enter the shed anyway as long as they're not sure that Yuu has returned to human, so he easily could them later that it lasted a little while longer than the day before.

He sat down before him, looking at him while Yuu just stared at the ground with a thoughtful expression.

"Seriously. What's wrong?"

"…"

"Yuu-Chan."

"…"

"I know something's bothering you. So what is it?"

"…"

"You know you can tell me."

"…"

"I won't tell anyone, okay? So tell me what's wrong."

"…It's not fair…"

He murmured, barely audible, while still looking at the ground. It almost seemed he'd talked more to himself than to Mika.

"Huh?"

"…It's just not fair…

"What?"

 _What the hell is he talking about?_

"…Why?"

"Yuu-Chan, stop talking in riddles.. I really don't know what you're-"

"…Even Yoichi…"

He said a little bit louder while pouting.

"…"

 _Wait a sec. don't tell me he…_

He remembered last night's discussion among the squad and was sure he was depressed because of that. Seeing him pouting over something like that, Mika couldn't help but burst out laughing.

"What?!"

Yuu asked angrily about being laughed at.

"Sorry. I just can't…believe…that…you really…still think…about that…"

He managed to say between laughs.

"Stop laughing already!"

"Sorry…"

Mika apologized once again, slowly recovering from his laughing fit.

"But seriously…Something so trivial bothers you this much? I really didn't expect that from you of all people."

He said with an amused smile on his face.

"Of course it bothers me! I just can't believe that everyone had already their first kiss! Except for me!"

"Yuu-Chan, that's-"

"Even Yoichi!"

"Yuu-Cha-"

"And even Kimizuki, that moron! How?!"

"…"

… _When I think about it…talking to his demon form was more bearable, to be honest…_

"It's just…not fair…"

"…Don't you think you get worked up over that a little bit too much?"

"You're one to talk! You don't have to endure Shinoa's teasing!"

"That's…all what bothers you about that?"

"And what if?!"

"…"

 _Then there really isn't a reason to be bothered about that…_

"And besides…what about you?!"

"Huh?"

"…"

"What?"

"…Did…you…you know…"

Yuu asked hesitantly. Mika knew what he wanted to know from him.

"Oh. Um…well…"

He said nervously avoiding his gaze, turning slightly red, before asking quietly:

"…Do I really have to answer that?"

"Are you kidding me?! You, too?!"

"Yuu-Chan, let me explain."

Mika said, looking at him again.

"What is there to explain?!"

"Just listen, okay? It wasn't…quite…my choice…"

"Huh?"

"…When I…was turned into a vampire…Krul…gave…me her blood like this…because I…refused to drink it…that's all. It wasn't mutual, so it doesn't count."

He said with a sad smile. Yuu looked at him for a few seconds before he ashamedly looked to the side.

"I'm…sorry. I didn't know that…I didn't want you to remind of…I'm sorry."

"…It's okay. It's something I can't change anymore anyway…so it's okay."

"…"

Assuming that he felt guilty asking him about that, Mika tried to cheer him up a little bit.

"Yuu-Chan."

As he heard his name he shifted his gaze back to him again.

"Still depressed?"

Mika asked with one of his usual smiles.

"…Of course…"

He murmured as a response.

"You really shouldn't take that to heart. It's not like you're gonna die if you haven't kissed anyone, yet."

"But everyone…and even you…and…Argh!"

Yuu exclaimed, putting his head on his knees.

"That…is just…so…frustrating…"

He added with a desperate sounding voice. Mika sighed, knowing he wouldn't stop pouting because of that so easily, before he sat beside him.

"Seriously, Yuu-Chan…Why does it bother you so much?"

"…"

 _Not responding, huh? Just why does he make such a big deal out of it? It's just a kiss after all. Nothing special. But he's acting like it is…Sometimes…I really don't get him…_

" _You don't have to endure Shinoa's teasing!"_

… _Is it really because of her teasing or…_

" _I just can't believe that everyone had already their first kiss! Except for me!"_

He looked at him for a few seconds, remembering his words, before a little smile appeared on his face and he reached out his hand, patting him on the head.

"It's not just about being teased about it, is it?"

"…"

"You're…just curious, aren't you?"

"…A little…"

Yuu murmured.

"You say that but…the truth is, it's not just a little, is it?"

"…"

He continued to pat his head a little while longer. As he pulled his back again after a while and was about tell him that they should go to the others, Mika heard him saying:

"…Hey…Mika?"

"Hm?"

"…"

"What is it?"

He asked with a smile. Without raising his head, Yuu asked hesitantly:

"…Can I…kiss you?"


	2. First Kiss (Mika's POV)

"…Can I…kiss you?"

"…Huh?"

It took me a few seconds to even realize what he just asked. I thought he was just kidding, taking revenge on me for laughing at him earlier.

"What?"

I asked in disbelief. There was no way he really meant that.

Yuu-Chan lifted his head from his knees without looking at me, before he replied:

"…Can…I kiss you?"

As he repeated his question a little bit louder than before, I just stared at him as if he was some kind of animal I've never seen before. There was no hint of joking in his voice. He…really was serious about that.

"…Why?"

I wanted to know since I absolutely couldn't understand why he suddenly asked me for something like that.

"…No…particular reason…"

He replied hesitantly, still not looking at me.

"Are you kidding me?! You're not just asking something like that without a reason!"

I yelled, maybe a little bit too loud, but I couldn't help it. Maybe because I was mad at him for that obvious lie, maybe because I was too embarrassed by this whole situation to be able to stay calm. No matter the reason…As I saw that Yuu-Chan flinched at my sudden raised voice, I immediately regretted it.

"…Sorry…didn't want to yell…"

"…It's okay…"

"But seriously…Why do you ask something like that out of the blue?"

"…"

"Yuu-Chan."

I said his name in a commanding voice, hoping that it would get him to tell me the truth.

"…Just…curious…"

He replied in a quiet voice after a few seconds.

"…'Curious'?"

He didn't say anything but just nodded as a response.

"And…why do you ask me of all people?"

"…Well…You're here right now so…I thought that I could just as well ask you."

"Wait a sec. So you just asked me because I happened to be here right now at this moment?!"

"Yeah."

He said promptly, looking at me again.

"…So in other words, you would had asked anyone?"

I asked a little bit sceptical. I couldn't believe that he really didn't care with whom he did that.

"Well…yes. But I think the others would had refused right away…so I'm not sure if I would had asked them…"

He admitted shyly. As I heard that I just looked at him surprise.

"And you seriously thought I would accept?"

"To be honest…yes. I convinced you to come back with me to the others after all…so I thought I could also convince you this time."

"…That's…two totally different things…"

I said expressionlessness. How could he even compare these to one another?!

"I know but…I still thought it would work out…"

He said with a carefree smile.

"Yuu-Chan. That's definitely not how it works."

"Huh?"

He tilted his head in confusion. I seriously don't understand how someone can be as clueless as him…

"First, you have to fall in love, then you can kiss. Not the other way round."

"So…if I fall in love with you, you'll accept?"

"No."

"Huh? But you just said that-"

"That's not what I meant. You just can't fall in love with someone just because you want to! It just happens."

"…And how?"

"Why do you ask me that?! Ask your friends!"

I didn't even realize that I had called these humans his friends because I was slightly annoyed by his stupid questions.

"Does that mean you never were in love with someone before?"

He asked, sounding slight surprised.

"Of course not! What did you expect?! I'm a vampire, right now I have other things to worry about than such things as 'love'. For example constantly saving your ass!"

"…Well…I guess that makes us pretty much the same…"

Yuu-Chan said, giving me one of his carefree smiles.

"See? Fall in love with someone first and then you can have your-"

"Can't you just let me kiss you?"

"I said that-"

"Yeah, I know but…we're family after all. Wouldn't that be enough, too?"

I gave an exasperated sigh, knowing that it won't be easy to convince him otherwise, since I knew how stubborn he can be.

"Yuu-Chan. I'll say it in the most polite way I can, okay? We're. Not. Gonna. Kiss."

"Why not?"

"Did you listen at all to what I said just now?!"

I asked angrily. I couldn't understand how someone could be this persistent about something…well, it was Yuu-Chan after all…

"…You said I can only kiss someone if I fell in love with that person first but…"

"But?!"

"I don't really mind that to be honest. I don't have time for that anyway. So we just can skip that part."

As I heard that I sighed once again and looked away from him. I realized that there was no point of trying to convince him otherwise so I just gave it up. But it didn't seem like Yuu-Chan wanted to let up with that since he sat down right before me.

"Mika, come on."

He begged like a child, looking at me. I turned my head to the other side, looking away from him once more.

"No."

"Please?"

"I said no!"

"Just one little kiss."

"Still no!"

"Only for one or two seconds, I swear."

"No."

"…Why not?"

He asked, sounding a little bit desperate.

"I explained it to you already."

"But I-"

"Yuu-Chan!"

I said his name in a commanding voice since I was just fed up with that whole situation and his annoying attempts to convince me.

"Just leave it be already! I don't want to talk about that again, got it?!"

I said in a very angry voice.

"…"

I didn't hear anything from him anymore. I thought that he finally gave it up and looked over to him again. I saw that he was looking at the ground with a sad expression. I didn't expect that it would make him sad. I wondered why he was making such a big deal out of it. Somehow…it didn't fit him.

"Yuu-Chan. I mean no harm. You…just should wait with that until you meet someone you really want to do that with…and not just anyone."

I said, looking at him again, trying to cheer him up a little bit.

"…"

"You really shouldn't rush things like that. I understand that…you feel a little bit left out…and jealous…because the others already had their first kiss but-"

"I'm not jealous…"

He suddenly interrupted me with a quiet voice, still looking at the ground.

"Huh?"

"I'm not jealous and…It's also not about…feeling left out. It's really not because of the others. I just…want to know…"

"…Know what?"

Yuu-Chan lifted his head again, looking to the side before saying in a sad voice:

"…I just…want to know…how it feels like…to…kiss…someone…"

"…"

"…I know that…it probably feels different…when you're actually in love with that person but…I still want to know…and it's not just on a whim…"

"…"

"I lied. I would have never asked one of the others…it's just…when you said your first kiss didn't count I…thought that you…would also be curious about…how it feels like…and since we're family I thought it's enough…"

I just looked at him in silence, not knowing what to say to that. I actually hadn't expect him to say something like that. To be honest I had never thought about…that. I really couldn't care about less about something like 'kissing'. But…it seemed like he really had thought about that a lot since the night before…and he had asked me for that on purpose…It was his decision after all…and I didn't want to see him this sad for the rest of the day…

"…Fine…"

I said quietly, but still loud enough so that he could hear me.

"Huh?

He looked at me in surprise.

"I said it's fine."

"Yeah, I…heard you but…I still don't understand…"

I took a deep breath before I said to him:

"If you want a kiss so badly…then go ahead…I don't mind."

He even looked more surprised at me than before when I said that.

"…What?"

I gave an annoyed sigh before I tried to explain it to him again.

"I said that-"

"I heard you but…why all of a sudden?"

"You would never let up with that anymore, wouldn't you? And I said more than enough why it's not right to do that but you still insist. Before I have to listen to that for eternity I rather give in. It's your decision to waste your first kiss like that after all. But don't complain about that later, understand?"

He still looked at me like he wouldn't believe me.

"…So…you let me…kiss you?"

"Yeah! How many times do I actually have to repeat that?!"

I hissed at him since I was slowly fed up with these constant questions.

"Sorry. I just wanted to know if you're really sure about that…"

"I am! Now stop asking."

"Okay, okay…"

"And don't get me wrong: It's only this once, got it? Don't you even dare to ask for a second time! Understand? Never. Again."

I said in a commanding voice, to which he just nodded as a response.

"Good. Now…let's get it over with already…"

I said in a quiet voice. After we looked at each other for a few more seconds…he slowly drew nearer…and I closed my eyes.

"…Why do you close your eyes?"

He suddenly asked with an irritated voice.

"Because you do that when you kiss someone."

"…Why?"

"What do I know?! Just hurry up, and get it over with already before I change my mind!"

I said slightly annoyed, since I slowly but surely lost my patience with him and his constantly stupid questions! Just why did he had to make everything more embarrassing than it already was?!

Even though I didn't see anything, I still could feel how he drew even nearer until he was only inches apart from me. As I felt his warm breath on my lips, I tensed up. I felt extremely uneasy because of that closeness…and because of what was going to happen. Even my face…felt like it was burning in that moment.

…It was just a kiss after all but still…Since that one time with Krul didn't really count…it…actually was my first time…being kissed by someone…and that thought indeed made me…nervous and not just a little…But I knew there was no turning back anymore…especially if I wanted him to never ask that again.

I waited and after moments passed…nothing happened.

I didn't know how close he was but he certainly wasn't any closer than he was before. His warm breath almost drove me crazy. It made me even more nervous than I already was. I would had preferred to back away a little but since the wall was behind me, there was no possibility to, so I just had to endure that…even though I felt really uncomfortable in that moment since he took so long.

I thought he had gotten cold feet and that's why he hesitated. No matter the reason, I just wanted it to be over already and was about to tell him to hurry once again otherwise he had to search for someone else for that…but then…

…I flinched a little bit when our lips touched. It wasn't a passionate kiss. Not at all. He just…slightly pressed his lips against mine. Nothing more and nothing less…

…I couldn't help but remember when Krul kissed me back then…and how humiliating and cold it felt like…with her blood running down my throat…taking away my humanity little by little…it was rather disgusting and…awful. Not quite something I like to remember…

…But…when he kissed me…it felt so entirely different…I felt nothing of these feeling I had felt four years ago…I just…I don't know…I don't know what exactly it was I felt in that moment…but… I couldn't concentrate on anything else…and…my heart just didn't want to stop beating like hell…It was…such a strange and…uneasy feeling…It made me so nervous…but still…

…being kissed by him…felt so nice…even nicer than…drinking his blood…nicer than…everything else I ever felt in my life before…His lips were so…warm and…soft…and the way he kissed me…was so gentle…I…liked it…

The kiss didn't last long. Only a few seconds until Yuu-Chan pulled back again a little bit and we both opened our eyes again. I hadn't even realized that I forgot to breathe during the kiss, so I had to take a deep breath after that.

"…How…did it…feel like?"

He asked me hesitantly while avoiding his gaze with such a red face I never saw on him before. Somehow it was…fascinating…to see him like this…but I also could feel that I must have been pretty red as well…

I smiled a little bit at his question. He was actually the one who wanted to know so badly…how it feels like…so why did he ask me then? But I didn't ask him about that. Instead I… just replied quietly, avoiding my gaze:

"…Nice…really…nice…"

No words would come out after that. I …couldn't think at that moment…My whole head was just completely blank…and my heart still didn't want to calm down again. It was such a strange feeling…Was it…always like this after someone…kissed you?

Suddenly Yuu-Chan leaned his forehead against mine. I didn't dare to look into his eyes even though I could see from the corner of my eye that he was looking at me in that moment.

"…Hey…Can I…do that…again?"

He asked in a whispering tone. Feeling his warm breath on my face once more and feeling how my heart began to beat even faster at these words, I…gave a nod.

As soon as he pulled back again, I closed my eyes. Shortly after…he kissed me again, in the same way he did it the first time. That gentle way I…liked so much.

I had completely forgotten that I told him to never ask me that again but…I didn't mind. I gladly…allowed him…to kiss me…a second time…or rather…I wanted it.

…I don't know if he asked me that because he still wanted to know how it feels like or…if it was because of something else but…I didn't care about the reason. In that moment I just wanted to have that nice feeling again…I just wanted to…be kissed by him again…

…From time to time he pulled back…although I didn't know why but…only seconds later I could feel his lips on mine again. I don't know how many times he kissed me but…with every single kiss I…relaxed more and more.

I regret that I didn't kiss back even once…I was afraid that I could hurt him with my fangs…so I didn't. But he didn't seem to mind that…he still kissed me again and again.

…And I…forgot everything else around us…

* * *

After some time…after he stopped kissing me…we just silently sat there for a whole while without looking at each other. I was glad that we didn't go out immediately since my face still felt like it was burning and I really didn't want these humans to ask me about that.

Eventually, after our faces had a normal colour again, we left that shed, only to run into these humans. They asked us where we were when they had their meeting. I absolutely hadn't a clue how to explain that…How long did we stayed in there anyway? I didn't know. I didn't notice how much time passed since that…

Before I could reply to anything Yuu-Chan told them that he wasn't feeling well after returning from his demon form and that he begged me to stay with him. All of them became worried about him, asking him if he still didn't feel well until he calmed them down again by assuring them he's really feeling fine and that they should held their meeting the next day.

They agreed and didn't ask any further anymore and…they also didn't wonder why the two of us didn't talk to each other for the rest of the day…I just didn't know how to face him after that…It was the first time I…couldn't talk to him…even though we weren't separated by distance this time.

…On that night I…couldn't sleep. Everything from that day…flashed through my mind over and over again. I couldn't concentrate on sleeping…because…every single time I closed my eyes I…could feel the sensation of his lips on mine again…and my heart…just wouldn't stop racing after that…


	3. First Kiss (Yuu's POV)

"…Can I…kiss you?"

I asked hesitantly while I still rested my head on my knees. I felt how I turned a little bit red as I asked him for that.

"…Huh?"

I could hear at the tone of his voice that he must have been surprised by my question. Well…no wonder. It's not something you're asked every day…

"What?"

I heard him asking in disbelief.

I lifted my head from my knees, and without looking at him I repeated my question a little bit louder.

"…Can…I kiss you?"

From the corner of my eyes I could he was looking at me. It took a few seconds until he asked:

"…Why?"

"…No…particular reason…"

I replied hesitantly to his question, still averting my gaze. I didn't want to tell him the real reason. It was…a little bit embarrassing for me to admit it…so I tried to avoid answering his question.

"Are you kidding me?! You're not just asking something like that without a reason!"

Mika yelled at me. I flinched at his sudden outbreak. Usually he isn't someone you can make angry that easily…and I really hadn't intend to.

"…Sorry…didn't want to yell…"

He apologized almost immediately.

"…It's okay…"

"But seriously…Why do you ask something like that out of the blue?"

"…"

"Yuu-Chan."

Mika said my name in a commanding voice. I knew I had to tell him the truth, or at least a part of it, if I didn't want to make him even angrier, so I replied in a quiet voice:

"…Just…curious…"

"…'Curious'?"

I just nodded as a response.

"And…why do you ask me of all people?"

I hoped he wouldn't ask that. To be honest I assumed he would also be curious about…that. He said himself that the kiss with the vampire queen didn't count, so…that would mean he also hadn't had his first kiss yet and…that basically made us the same…and it also made me feel a little bit less nervous to do it…with him…But instead of telling him the truth I just said:

"…Well…You're here right now so…I thought that I could just as well ask you."

I knew it sounded pretty stupid and that he would probably refuse after hearing that.

"Wait a sec. So you just asked me because I happened to be here right now at this moment?!"

He asked angrily. I was surprised that he didn't leave the shed right away at that moment. I looked at him again and said promptly:

"Yeah."

"…So in other words, you would had asked anyone?"

Mika sounded a little bit sceptical as he asked me that. I thought that he had noticed that I lied. I thought for a moment what to say to that. If I had just said 'yes', he probably would had said that I should ask them instead and leave him alone, so I said a little bit shyly:

"Well…yes. But I think the others would had refused right away…so I'm not sure if I would had asked them…"

I lied. I could have never asked one of them. Not because they certainly had refused but because…I wouldn't have felt comfortable if it was with one of them. But with him…Somehow I felt more comfortable at the thought if it was with him…Probably because we both…hadn't kissed anyone yet…

"And you seriously thought I would accept?"

He asked, looking at me in surprise.

"To be honest…yes. I convinced you to come back with me to the others after all…so I thought I could also convince you this time."

I replied. Okay, I didn't expect he would accept right away but…I really thought I could convince him…

"…That's…two totally different things…"

He said expressionlessness.

"I know but…I still thought it would work out…"

I stated, smiling at him.

"Yuu-Chan. That's definitely not how it works."

"Huh?"

I looked at him in confusion. I had thought it would be enough to just ask for a kiss…so I didn't understand what he meant.

"First, you have to fall in love, then you can kiss. Not the other way round."

"So…if I fall in love with you, you'll accept?"

"No."

"Huh? But you just said that-"

"That's not what I meant. You just can't fall in love with someone just because you want to! It just happens."

"…And how?"

"Why do you ask me that?! Ask your friends!"

It was the first time he called them my friends. Usually he would refer to them as 'humans', nothing more.

"Does that mean you never were in love with someone before?"

I asked in surprise.

"Of course not! What did you expect?! I'm a vampire, right now I have other things to worry about than such things as 'love'. For example constantly saving your ass!"

Mika exclaimed. I actually expected him to know more about 'love' than me…I guess he was just as clueless as I was…But…I was glad that we were alike in that point. I smiled at him and said:

"…Well…I guess that makes us pretty much the same…"

"See? Fall in love with someone first and then you can have your-"

"Can't you just let me kiss you?"

"I said that-"

"Yeah, I know but…we're family after all. Wouldn't that be enough, too?"

He sighed at my question. I really didn't understand what the problem was with that…Why do you actually have to fall in love with someone before that? I mean…I wouldn't had mind to fall in love with him first but…I absolutely hadn't a clue what that actually meant…or how it even worked…

"Yuu-Chan. I'll say it in the most polite way I can, okay? We're. Not. Gonna. Kiss."

"Why not?"

"Did you listen at all to what I said just now?!"

He asked angrily. Since I didn't want to make him even angrier I repeated what he had said:

"…You said I can only kiss someone if I fell in love with that person first but…"

"But?!"

"I don't really mind that to be honest. I don't have time for that anyway. So we just can skip that part."

I said to him. Mika just sighed when I said that and looked away from me. But I didn't want to let up so I sat down right before him, forcing him to look at me again.

"Mika, come on."

I begged, looking at him but he only turned his to the other side, looking away from me once again.

"No."

"Please?"

"I said no!"

"Just one little kiss."

"Still no!"

"Only for one or two seconds, I swear."

"No."

"…Why not?"

I asked once again for a reason since I couldn't understand why he didn't want to.

"I explained it to you already."

"But I-"

"Yuu-Chan!"

Mika said my name in a commanding voice, sounding really annoyed.

"Just leave it be already! I don't want to talk about that again, got it?!"

He said in a very angry voice. I don't think I ever heard him this angry before and…I understood that he didn't want it.

"…"

I didn't say anything to him anymore but just looked at the ground. I knew that he just didn't want me to regret it later. But I really wouldn't had regret it. I didn't mind not being in love with him before kissing and I also wasn't that interested in love anyway.

I just…really wanted to know how it feels like to kiss someone…

…When the others talked about that the night before I…just wanted to know.

It wasn't jealousy…It was…Curiosity.

"Yuu-Chan. I mean no harm. You…just should wait with that until you meet someone you really want to do that with…and not just anyone."

He said suddenly, sounding a lot calmer than before.

"…"

"You really shouldn't rush things like that. I understand that…you feel a little bit left out…and jealous…because the others already had their first kiss but-"

"I'm not jealous…"

I interrupted him quietly without looking at him.

"Huh?"

"I'm not jealous and…It's also not about…feeling left out. It's really not because of the others. I just…want to know…"

"…Know what?"

I lifted my head and looked to the side before I admitted:

"…I just…want to know…how it feels like…to…kiss…someone…"

"…"

"…I know that…it probably feels different…when you're actually in love with that person but…I still want to know…and it's not just on a whim…"

"…"

"I lied. I would have never asked one of the others…it's just…when you said your first kiss didn't count I…thought that you…would also be curious about…how it feels like…and since we're family I thought it's enough…"

I had given up so I told him the whole truth. I didn't want to him annoy with that…or to force him. I thought that he was right. That I should wait with that. I was about to suggest to go to the others since he mentioned something about a meeting before and they surely would be mad at us if we didn't come. But…

"…Fine…"

He said suddenly in a quiet voice.

"Huh?

I looked at him in surprise, not understanding what he meant with that.

"I said it's fine."

"Yeah, I…heard you but…I still don't understand…"

Mika took a deep breath before he said:

"If you want a kiss so badly…then go ahead…I don't mind."

When I heard him saying that it only surprised me even more. I couldn't understand that after all that refusal he…just gave in so easily.

"…What?"

He sighed once again at this question and tried to explain it to me again:

"I said that-"

"I heard you but…why all of a sudden?"

"You would never let up with that anymore, wouldn't you? And I said more than enough why it's not right to do that but you still insist. Before I have to listen to that for eternity I rather give in. It's your decision to waste your first kiss like that after all. But don't complain about that later, understand?"

Even after he explained it to me so thorough…I still couldn't believe him. I wanted to make sure he really meant that, so I asked:

"…So…you let me…kiss you?"

"Yeah! How many times do I actually have to repeat that?!"

He hissed at me, sounding really annoyed.

"Sorry. I just wanted to know if you're really sure about that…

"I am! Now stop asking."

"Okay, okay…"

"And don't get me wrong: It's only this once, got it? Don't you even dare to ask for a second time! Understand? Never. Again."

He said in a commanding voice and I just nodded as response before he said in a quiet voice:

"Good. Now…let's get it over with already…"

We looked at each other for a few more seconds before…I slowly drew nearer to him…and he closed his eyes.

"…Why do you close your eyes?"

I asked in confusion since I didn't know why he suddenly closed his eyes.

"Because you do that when you kiss someone."

"…Why?"

"What do I know?! Just hurry up, and get it over with already before I change my mind!"

Mika said, sounding slightly annoyed.

I drew nearer until I was just only inches apart from him so that I even felt his warm breath on my face. I was about to close my eyes as well and lean in as…I noticed how his face slowly turned bright red. I never…saw him like that before.

He looked so…nervous. I couldn't help but look at him. It was…fascinating to see him like that.

…I remembered that he said that the kiss from the vampire queen didn't count and…that he was probably nervous because of that. Because…it was the first time…someone…kissed him. Somehow…I felt bad. I felt bad for…stealing his first kiss like that…Even though he agreed…he actually only did it so I won't annoy him with that anymore…I had been selfish. I knew that. And I thought about pulling away again and never talk about that with him ever again but…When I looked at him and…saw this…nervous side of him I never saw on him before I…couldn't.

I don't know why but…in that moment I…really…wanted…to kiss him…As I realized what I was thinking…I blushed…and…my heart was beating like it never did before…but still…I closed my eyes…and…

…I could feel how he slightly flinched when our lips touched. I didn't know if I was doing it right…and I also hadn't a clue how to breathe during a kiss since it was my first time kissing someone but…I didn't want to stop…

…Feeling his cold…but soft lips against mine…felt…so nice…My heart was beating like crazy…and everything around us just…disappeared…I…never felt…something like that before in my life…something so…nice…

After a few seconds I pulled back again and both of us opened our eyes again. I could finally breathe again and…he also took a deep breath after that. We just looked at each other without saying anything and…I could feel that my face was probably bright red at that moment…just like his. This silence between us was…awkward. I averted my gaze and tried to find something to say to him…but all that came out was:

"…How…did it…feel like?"

I didn't know why I even asked him that. I was actually the one who wanted to know how it feels like…but I asked him. I wanted to take it back since I didn't really expect an answer from him but then he replied in a quiet voice:

"…Nice…really…nice…"

I looked at him again in surprise. I hadn't expect that kind of answer. If anything…I thought he would say 'It was awful!' or something like that…but definitely not that it felt…nice…

…When I saw him blushing even more than before I…just couldn't avert my gaze anymore…even though…he didn't look at me…

I felt strange. It wasn't an unpleasant feeling but…it was still something I never felt before in my life…I wondered…did it always felt like this…after you kissed someone?

Without even realizing what I was doing I…leaned my forehead against his. I looked at him and asked or rather whispered:

"…Hey…Can I…do that…again?"

I had forgotten that he told me to never ask that again…but I didn't take it back.

It wasn't because I still wanted to know how it feels like. In that moment I…wanted…to…kiss him…again. Even though I didn't know why…I…just wanted to kiss him…and not just anyone but him…I didn't…want to do that with anyone but him…

I actually expected him to refuse but…he nodded and…gave me permission to kiss him again. I pulled back again and…he closed his eyes. After I looked at him for a few seconds I…also closed my eyes, leaned in and…kissed him again.

No matter how many times I kissed him…he didn't push me away. And not a single time…did he kiss me back…At first I thought it was because he didn't like it…But…when I had to pull back from time to time because I really didn't know how to breath while kissing and…opened my eyes I…saw that he still had his eyes closed…waiting…for me to kiss him again…and I could feel how…with every single kiss…he relaxed more and more…and how his lips…slowly became warm…

I didn't even notice how much time actually passed because…all I could think of in that moment was…that I never wanted this moment to end…

After some time I…stopped kissing him and we…just sat there silently for a long time without looking at one another. I didn't want to go out. I was afraid that we could run into the others and that they would see how red our faces were…I didn't want them to see that or…even ask about that.

We waited until our faced had their normal colour again to leave the shed. I was glad that we had waited until that since we ran straight into the others who asked us we were when they had their meeting.

I noticed that Mika didn't know what he should tell them so I lied and said that I wasn't feeling well after turning back into a human and that I begged Mika to stay with me until I would had felt better.

Of course all I did with that was to worry them about me, asking me if I still felt unwell until I finally could calm them down. But at least they didn't ask any further and we decided to hold the meeting the next day.

…Fortunately they didn't wonder why Mika and I…didn't talk to each other for the rest of the day. To be honest…I didn't know what to say to him. I was never at a loss for words but…at that moment no words would come out…It was the first time I…was speechless.

…On that night I…couldn't find any sleep. I was thinking too much in order to be able to sleep…even though all I could think of was…Mika. I couldn't think at anything else but him.

From time to time I…traced my lips with my finger and…I could still feel his lips on mine. This sensation just didn't want to go away anymore…Even my heart didn't want to stop beating like hell…

I wondered…what he was doing at that moment…if he also couldn't sleep…and…if he also had this strange feeling…That feeling I…only have…when I think about him…

...Does this...strange feeling mean that...on that day…when I…kissed for the first time…that I…fell in love with him…?


End file.
